Come So Far

Come So Far

I’ve come so far…
So far from myself,
from definition.
In this face of sorrow
is a weary soul
harvesting strength
from experience.
A warrior, I was,
in past lives
fighting and dying
for Love.
Carrying sword and shield.
fighting my way
through childhood.
Standing up for myself, for others,
yet shielding my heart
from the Truth that I was
fighting for.
I’ve come so far…
So far from myself,
from definition.
And although this sword and shield, I wore
with honor,
I understood that the strength
I truly desired came from a vulnerability,
an acceptance,
a love I carried
within my own heart, my own core
that longed to merge with the other side
glistening in the edge of darkness.
This time,
I was at war with my Self.
My own sword --wounding me.
My own shield --denying Love
to enter.
A moment of solitude
cast a beautiful light,
reflecting through
the darkness of pain,
from the depths of my soul
crying out to the Universe
to heal.
So once again, I fought
blindly, through the shadow
--without sword
--without shield
Witnessing my heart
dissolve
in the Light of Love;
Breaking me
down
and down again
until nothing remained.
Until I was empty, open
crying,
praying that I was free…
That this painful beauty would stay
with me always
--fill my heart
with purity
that no sword could penetrate,
no shield would deny.
And so I’ve come so far…
So far from myself,
from definition.
Yet it is in this “undefined”
that I am most free
and it is through losing “myself”
that I am closer to Love
than ever before.

(written about 2 years ago).