Fallen Angel

I have fallen. I have fallen like an Angel from the grace of my own doing. I have completed a journey in each moment only to enter into a new one with every breath I take. And my breath. Oh my breath. I want to re-member my breath and that it is not a "taking" at all but a reciprocal sharing of love that I give and receive, that I nurture all living things with and thus, am filled with the mighty light of love in return. Lately, I have been screaming inside. Do you know what this feels like? The emblem of hope in my heart I hold like a sheath above my face. But this sheath is a translucent fragment of my belonging to self. The attachment to the face I believe to be mine has my heart encased in a membrane of fear. I am not this fear. Fear is a word with a meaningless truth. My mind created it over a collective energetic news feed. I stopped reading the news a long time ago. And I am changing. My energy is freer today but it was never contained in the first place. My mind must be in agony. I can only imagine what is going on beyond what I can see. But I feel it instead. And my eyes well with tears. And these feelings, without attachment, are a truth bleeding hope from my heart. I listen closely with closed eyes knowing that I do not need to know anything about it. I do not need to judge my indecision or inability to emotionally connect while my heart heals. I do not discriminate against myself in this suspended watchfulness. I wait and yet I take action NOW. I take action by re-membering my love that is the only truth and the only source of happiness. I contemplate and let go of that contemplation. Writing heals me. I know this to be true. I am an open book with torn pages perfectly gracing these words. And I know that somewhere deep inside words were never needed at all but they help when I forget to re-member. 09/12/12