Talking

I am not free in this moment. I am not free because my reflection in you tells me so. I see the parts of myself that are holding onto what it is I can not control. And I am a witness but at the same time, I grip at my own skin and push yours away as if you are separate from me. You mirror this separation by speaking of your unwillingness to give up your autonomy. Yet what is it that you, too, fear connecting with? If bliss is a perfect day without a lover then so be it that way. But the Truth lies in the challenge of the beloved's existence -- seen through our eyes, felt through our hearts, channeled through our love for self, each other and all of life. I walk in silence to know my words that are free from the strife I create to speak them. Oftentimes, my mind dissects the beauty that exists in the here and now. This is when I know it is time to listen. In this stillness, "listening" does not mean "disconnecting." It means understanding. It means loving. It means forgiving myself for forgetting again and again, without judgment. It means that I do not need you yet I can love you the same. It means that letting go of my attachment to anything that binds my heart is a breath of fresh air pulsing through my Being. It means that I have chosen to be free again. And thus the energy of this moment changes...

Fallen Angel

I have fallen. I have fallen like an Angel from the grace of my own doing. I have completed a journey in each moment only to enter into a new one with every breath I take. And my breath. Oh my breath. I want to re-member my breath and that it is not a "taking" at all but a reciprocal sharing of love that I give and receive, that I nurture all living things with and thus, am filled with the mighty light of love in return. Lately, I have been screaming inside. Do you know what this feels like? The emblem of hope in my heart I hold like a sheath above my face. But this sheath is a translucent fragment of my belonging to self. The attachment to the face I believe to be mine has my heart encased in a membrane of fear. I am not this fear. Fear is a word with a meaningless truth. My mind created it over a collective energetic news feed. I stopped reading the news a long time ago. And I am changing. My energy is freer today but it was never contained in the first place. My mind must be in agony. I can only imagine what is going on beyond what I can see. But I feel it instead. And my eyes well with tears. And these feelings, without attachment, are a truth bleeding hope from my heart. I listen closely with closed eyes knowing that I do not need to know anything about it. I do not need to judge my indecision or inability to emotionally connect while my heart heals. I do not discriminate against myself in this suspended watchfulness. I wait and yet I take action NOW. I take action by re-membering my love that is the only truth and the only source of happiness. I contemplate and let go of that contemplation. Writing heals me. I know this to be true. I am an open book with torn pages perfectly gracing these words. And I know that somewhere deep inside words were never needed at all but they help when I forget to re-member. 09/12/12

Closer to Truth

We are born of this day and to this day we will die. There is no in between. We are here in this now and will always be in the "now" -- despite how much we try to regress to the past or jump head first into the future. My song in this moment is deep and transient and moving in and outside of myself. I know and I don't know. I am humble and I am agro with displaced passion. I have come here searching this space as if it were something to be uncovered from Self. But I am not covered nor uncovered. I am what I am. And I am without myself as I continue to identify with what "I" am from the start. I am going to throw it all out the door and walk on by without a glance back. I am going to let go of the looking. I am tired and ready. i am ready and tired. And somewhere there is a place for me to rest within my "Being" here, now with no other agenda but drawing myself closer and closer and closer to Truth. 8/16/12

TO MIRROR LOVE

I am a transformational serpent of time. I come through the waters of emotion to bring forth the passion of life. I am born through the realm of what has been forgotten so that I may remember the Truth that propelled my birth to begin with. I am a constant glowing light in my soul opening to the light of the sun in my heart. Your eyes reflect my beauty; mine, yours. I can not take the separation of thoughts as the truth in my upbringing. I am an UPRISING and the passionate culmination of body and Spirit. I am loving my Self. I am loving your Self. There is nothing keeping us apart from trusting the process of illumination between us. When I consider this reality, I am open to the repercussions of MIND (illusion). I am open because I know that I will learn from my mistakes and through these mistakes, I will find Truth again and again.

The passion that I am experiencing is built upon a deeper feeling of compassion. My compassion stems from the Love that is inherent in my blood, my bones, my BEING in each moment to each moment to each moment - regardless of the circumstance. Doubt is irrelevant when Trust is always present. Fear is is a catalyst to success when I know that by looking at it, I am allowing Love and Love is the purest essence of who I am. I AM LOVE. And I see this love in your eyes because you, also, are this LOVE. What a beautiful moment of reciprocity. What a powerful sharing of TRUTH.

And the words fade because Love is here. And my smile merges with my heart as I kiss the sky, my reflection within it and see the waters ripple beneath my feet. I dance naked in the storm. I allow LOVE to flow because I AM. And You ARE. And the Truth does not lie. Love is above, beneath, but never beyond who I AM. Trust that You ARE too.

Discernment has no question

You can not hide from yourself. You can not truly be less than the truth that you are, in each moment. Your body speaks through cellular communication which reverberates throughout language, thought, mirrored attraction, and the ultimate appeal to life itself. In time, there is a space continuum that becomes the black hole of existence. We live in this space of paradoxical language and formless states. We are a part of the nothingness and the all. We are culminating all of the desires of doubt, pain, excellence, passion, progression and despair. Is there a difference in the transitions? Is there a permanent sever in the realm of creation? There can never be such a severance if there was never a disconnection to begin with. The mind's channeled energy has become static in the inter-activity of what has been lost. What does this mean? Our connections have been made to listen only with the statistical notions that we are a numbered identity with a name, date of birth, calculated existence on this planet and powered by the formed matter of our opinions. We created our reality by which we base our entire world view. We believe we are less than the Truth. We often feel less than the Love that is our divine inheritance. It is through the immaculate birth of our existential Self that allows us to see beyond our suffering lens. Do not deny the pain that is required of cleansing -- for our tears will mirror the reflection of the water, bitter with form, and seize this moment with the power to be transformed by the beauty that is ALL.

Simple reverence in thought. Simple humility in exchange for beauty and love. It's all the same. The distinction is only driven by ideas but the Truth holds no separation to what is real or not. Discernment can only be made when the mind and heart are one. We will know this...we will know this...and there will be no question at all.

The Work Is Done.

At this point the work is done. The old is diminished from the proper sequence of endearment. You no longer hold onto the past the way you once did. Something has changed. Ceaselessly searching, your search has now ceased. It’s a paradox in the field of “letting go.” There is a change here – something culminating from the fruition of all of your experiences, manifestations and dreams. Together, at this point, you are entering the pinnacle of existence in your life. It is a place of deep solitude, a calling for gratitude in the form of prayer and a “search” inward for the Truth that has all that you need. Let go of all else. It doesn’t matter. None of it matters but what is revealed between the inherent field of plenty. This “field” is not exclusive. It embodies all of life. It nurtures everything, controls nothing. There is a place here that suits you and welcomes your call of duty. You have been here before along with many others. You have seen the dream as more than it is. You know who you are.
And so I ask you, what are you waiting for? Why hide behind the veil of the illusion that scours your heart in flames? You are done with that cycle and ready to begin anew. This, you know. There is no turning back as all other “roads” will bring the same longing that calls you here, right now. There is nowhere to go; nothing to do but enter the silence and welcome yourself into all that you are. You will find your Truth here, always.
10/23/11

This Dance Is My Own

A certain voice has risen from the depths of my soul. I don’t know why I didn’t come into this moment soldiering through my fears and rising, again, a pure essence of the divinity I AM in this moment. I heard him watching me as I danced. I even saw his eyes. They looked compelled to enter the Mystery yet they stayed distant with the fog. No one shares the same experience. A known fact. A Truth left untold. Many believe that bliss follows the bliss of another. This is a false identity. No one can experience the same moment although they might be in the same time of space, their occupied space in “time” is meant for their perfection, not another. There are elements of Truth that arise amongst the whole that resonate on a Universal level but ultimately, we are having a personal experience of our own Spiritual Nature in this momentous element of “time” we have created within our own understanding. There are times that I have opened my heart and body to those around me, knowing “for sure” they could feel me, know me, love me the way I have opened up to them, in that moment. And then an immediate recognition of differentiation takes place. They are not in the same “space” in time that I have entered. I have opened my heart, my mind, my essence to their being yet , to them, something is lacking.

What was missing? As I reflect on the Truth that inhabits each moment, each being, each paradoxical offspring of thoughts inhabited through the many living Spirits that co-habitate on this planet, I realize that we are, indeed, mirrors but in no way are exact replicas of another. We share DNA traits, cultural traditions, societal standards, heriditary defaults, but in NO WAY are we EXACTLY the same in Spirit. What my Spirit possesses is a means of getting closer to the Truth of my own existence in this life time. Someone else might share insightful moments that integrate with my own, but never can they amount to the transformational energy that has made my life exactly what it is, today. To each it’s own. And that is the Truth. And yet we live amongst each other and sometimes within the field of each others existence and so we learn to adapt and grow and fuse new understanding(s) under the bridge of influence we subjugate ourselves with.
When I dance, I dance as if no one is watching and at the same time, I dance like the world is a stage. It is a symbiotic approach to me. It is all and the same. It is inclusive. Nothing exceeds the other. There is maturation in the process of discovery.
I have seen myself in this dance. This uncovering, this recovery, this discovery of who I AM in each moment I turn my hips to another tune, I move my neck toward the sky, I open my lips to the rain and drench my cheeks in the atmosphere of which I dwell, outwardly, inward. There is no difference, yet in this indifference is the complexity of union that exists throughout the whole of mankind. I am a part of this cycle. I am a part of this union of minds, hearts, souls and Spirits unmanifest in the realization of many. But I am also a part of the future. I am a part of the Dream. I am a part of the reality that knows that nothing matters but the here, the now and the present state of being that has me saying YES! to all that exists in life. And I have faith. I trust the Universe. I trust my Self. I trust the encompassing divinity of Nature that holds me closer and closer to the Truth that I AM ALL THAT EXISTS AROUND (AND WITHIN) my own Core Being. Love has no borders. This is where I stand, right here, right now.
8/31/11